1.  Ask your 'tween what they’d like to do. Kids should have more and more control as each year goes by as to the what, when and where concerning your one-on-one time together.

2.  Spend time in nature. There is something grounding about time in nature. Things slow down, and people are less distracted. You could take walks, or go fishing, cycling or camping. Gardening is also a good activity. (Need some ideas? See Sprout & About's calendar.)

3.  Do service work. Pick a charity or project together and go be of service. Make sure it’s something that feels fun and meaningful to your 'tween, and that it is a volunteer effort.

4.  Listen to their music. Instead of judging their new music interests, be curious. You can learn a lot about a kid by what music they are drawn to and why.

5.  Take a class together. Attend a class or workshop in something that interests your son or daughter. It could look like a class in photography, music, auto repair, dancing, exercise, yoga... you name it. (Need some ideas? See Sprout & About's calendar.)

6.  Look through old photo albums of your relatives. Kids love to hear stories about their descendants, especially if the stories relate to your child's life. Be sure to share how your relatives are similar to your child in character or temperament. Knowing where you came from is grounding; it gives kids roots.

7.  Be a fly-on-the-wall.  I learned so much about my kids at the 'tween ages just by listening and observing when they were with their friends. Driving a carload of kids to a basketball game was always entertaining and enlightening. As long as I kept my mouth shut and just listened, they would talk about everything. It was as if I weren't even there.

8.  Take a great adventure.  Get out of your comfort zones and do some different, spontaneous things together. Explore new restaurants, museums, used book stores, national forests, concerts or wherever your hearts lead you. Expand your experiences and tastes together.

9. Eat a meal together. It sounds corny and cliché, but having uninterrupted meals together is extremely valuable. Turn off all electronics, and plan, shop and cook together. Create a fun atmosphere, and talk about things other than school work and chores. Ask questions about your kids' lives, thoughts and friends. Just listen.

10.  Tell them stories about your past. Especially, tell stories about when you were their age. 'Tweens don’t always believe us when we say, "we understand what you're feeling and going through.” We have to back up the words with real examples of our mistakes, experiences, insecurities and challenges from back in our own 'tween years. Your 'tween will understand that you really do get what they're going through. And that will feel great to them!

Tim Jordan, M.D. is a Behavioral Pediatrician, international speaker and author. He and his wife, Anne Jordan, R.N., own their companies Children & Families, Inc and Camp Weloki, Inc. and work together in many of their endeavors to support children and families.  Dr. Jordan counsels children, teens and parents in his counseling practice in Chesterfield.  He is a media consultant for television and radio programs and a regular columnist in several St. Louis magazines.  He is also an adjunct professor with Webster University and enjoys helping teachers and students create caring learning classrooms and communities.  Dr. Jordan can be reached through his office at 636-530-1883 and his website is www.weloki.com.

Best Bets articles represent the views and the research completed by St. Louis Sprout & About journalists and are not driven by advertising or requests by vendors or venues. Best Bets do not imply an endorsement of a business or activity.

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